My favourite time of year is here, spooky season is officially underway. The coffee shops smell like pumpkin spice, it’s finally sweater weather, and the theme parks are starting to open after dark once more. I’ve always loved Halloween. You get to dress up and play pretend, dark things aren’t just acceptable but celebrated, and suddenly everything is about telling a “bloody” good story.
There’s only one problem. I am a massive wimp. I LOVE Addams Family and Hocus Pocus and bad Ghost Trains but I’ve never seen The Conjuring and clowns still give me an intense urge to run as fast as I can in the other direction. I’m also autistic and, while I get by when it’s something I really love, sudden loud noises and crowded spaces full of people, ESPECIALLY people who may present me with surprise physical contact? Um, no thank you. So, after one disastrous visit to Fright Nights circa 2009, I stayed well clear of Halloween events… until recently.
The truth is, I hated sitting it out. There’s FOMO and then there’s everyone having just the best time at your favourite time of year while you’re not. So that’s when I got serious and came up with my official spooky season survival guide.
No Scares At All Please
For the most part, this article focuses on how to survive theme parks as a ‘fraidy cat, but it would be wrong to not point out that nowadays there are LOTS of non-theme park options for spooky season fun. My local National Trust property has a display of 700+ knitted pumpkins and several places near me have Halloween-themed trails or pumpkin patches to go and find your own. Not everything has to be a YouTube-perfect planned trip, it’s always worth being a tourist in your own spot from time to time.
If rides are a crucial part of your itinerary, Legoland Windsor, Chessington World of Adventures, and Paulton’s Park offer events with family-friendly spooks. These events feature kooky characters you can meet and they tend to have more of an emphasis on stage shows and family friendly fun meaning you can get a full dose of spooktacular entertainment…without risking your heart.
Don’t want to settle for gentle rides? I honestly think Alton Towers deserves more credit than they get for their approach to Scarefest. There’s so much space that if you don’t want to be where spooks are, you very much have the option to do that, and the rides are still great if you just want to get some night rides in. There are no scare zones that you have to walk through so other than some spooky-in-a-cute-way characters, you can easily avoid the dark theming.
If you do choose Thorpe Park, don’t forget you can get “No Scare” lanyards, though they don’t apply in the scare mazes themselves.
Building Tolerance
It makes absolute sense that if you’re not used to immersive, actor-led experiences, the thought of doing one where they’re actively trying to scare you can be an overwhelming thought. Though if it’s a fear you want to beat, there are experiences out there that you can do to start to condition yourself to that kind of environment.
Warning: This section has some pretty controversial takes. Brace yourselves.
I think that Alton Towers is a great place to build your tolerance to scares. If you’re big on atmosphere there’s no beating somewhere like Thorpe Park where, after 3pm, the park is immersed in the Halloween atmosphere, but Alton Towers offers you the option to experience this at your own pace. The park has received criticism in some circles for not being immersive enough but, in my opinion, having optional, free scare zones is such a good way to test the waters without committing to the full scare experience.
I came out of Burial Grounds last year thinking That was cool but actually… I could do more? It was a real surprise as I honestly thought it would prove that I’m just not made of the right stuff to enjoy scare experiences and yet…
It’s also why I think Ghost Train is actually a pretty good attraction for Thorpe Park. I get it. If you’re big on being terrified then it’s kind of lame and taking up real estate that could otherwise be given to an actually good ride system. BUT. It’s such a perfect stepping stone for people wanting to try actor led experiences. The story is spooky. In the right seat/spot you’ll even get a jump scare or two. But, in the scheme of things, it’s still fairly tame. Honestly? If I were running a park knowing that one of my most profitable times of year is Halloween, then being able to have an attraction that will cultivate future money spenders at that time on a year-round basis is kind of a smart thing to do…
Ghost trains (the ride type) are also a really good way of beginning to experience spooky things and jump scares if you’re not quite ready to do actor led. There are famous ghost trains like the one at Blackpool (which is supposedly haunted too!) but local ones such as Terror Castle at Brean Leisure Park or the Haunted Hotel at Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach, are also brilliant ways to expose yourself to small scale scares.
Taking The Plunge
Ok, so you’ve braved the scare zones, you’ve summoned up the courage you didn’t know you had, and you’re going to do your first scare maze. Congratulations! Here’s some advice that helped me do mine, but first of all, the most important thing to say: It’s okay if they aren’t for you. Be realistic. Are you a very reactive person whose response to being scared is to swing for someone? Then sit this out. You’re not any less hard for doing so but do you know what’s not cool? Assaulting someone for doing their job that you paid them to do. I don’t know anyone who has worked in the scare industry and doesn’t have horror stories. Don’t take a starring role in one of them.
Here’s how I did it:
- I watched a lot of vlogs of scare mazes. I didn’t watch the exact ones I did but it really helped me to understand a little of how they work and what I might encounter
- I learned to embrace the theatre of it. I love storytelling. I’ve been a published writer, an actor, and a burlesque dancer in my time and there’s nothing as exciting for me as telling a good story. Scare mazes do that in the most visceral way and it was exciting to me to see the story come to life
- I researched mazes, used vlogs and information provided by the parks to choose a maze that would be big on theme but lighter on fear. Don’t forget that the parks have boards outside so you can understand the type of intensity before you enter. The Merlin parks allow you to buy one-shots on the day (if not sold out) so you can always make your mind up once you have that information and know how you’re feeling in the moment.
- Go with understanding friends.
And what I accidentally discovered: Go with someone way more scared than you. Because I swear two things happen when you watch your friend hit the deck and cower in the corner as someone looms over them in a gas mask:
- You’re too busy being concerned about them to worry about yourself
- And. It’s absolutely HILARIOUS
The thing I wish I knew before going in? Screaming and looking absolutely terrified is part of it. Ok, ok, I know that’s stating the obvious. But picturing myself shrieking in some dark corner… just felt wrong somehow? When actually that’s exactly the right thing to do. And weirdly, in a way that I can’t quite explain, it’s part of the fun. It reminded me of the days I could get off a rollercoaster shaking with that heady mix of fear and accomplishment.
I also always thought that having an anxiety disorder would be a reason to not do scare mazes, but I’m starting to think it’s why I found it so fun. Because anxiety is fear for no reason, so I just sort of fed it a reason?
Now that I’m on the other side, I can see the appeal in a way I just couldn’t before. It really is one of those things where you can’t gauge how you’ll experience it until you try it. And I know it’s just the start for me. Because once you’ve beaten the fear, there is a whole world of scare experiences out there. Big and small. And oftentimes, by leaving the parks behind and finding a local experience, you’re supporting someone’s small business which is something we should all aspire to.
So whether your vibe is more spooky-cutie, or terrify-me-so-hard-my-soul-leaves-my-body-and-I-shit-my-pants, I’m wishing you a spooky season that makes you smile. Happy Halloween!
